All our actions are a result of our thoughts. All the pain or gain we feel is also dependent on the kind of thoughts we have in our minds. We can view thoughts as skillful or unskillful thoughts. Skillful thoughts are thoughts which create generosity and kindness in us while unskillful thoughts are driven by senses, desires, pleasure or anger. To live a healthy life we need to become aware of such thoughts and maximize/optimize the skillful ones and minimize the unskillful ones.
However, the struggle at least for me at times is the repetitive/obsessive thoughts I have in my mind. How can we deal with such thoughts? First, we have to look at the origin of thoughts. Where do they come from? Basically, our sense organs come into contact with things or people and it’s either a pleasant, unpleasant or a neutral experience.
Buddha’s idea was as follows: “What you feel, you perceive”. He viewed perception and feeling as two separate things and interestingly, feeling came before perception. No one would view it in this order but it makes sense. For example, if I have feelings of love towards someone, my perception of that person would be that the person is the most wonderful creature on the planet. Humans develop the same kind of perception for their cars or pets as well. While this seems to be a beautiful and romantic way of looking at it, we can realize how our perception of reality in terms of cultures, racism and many other things can be a result of this mechanism. So, we need to be very aware of this process.
We can’t control our feelings as they are automatic. The feelings are not the problem. The problem lies in the craving for the pleasant feelings and a rejection of the unpleasant feelings. This rejection for the unpleasant feelings is actually ego driven as we want to feel good. This is not wrong to be honest but if such thoughts become obsessive, our thinking gets distorted and we may ruin our own health or affect adversely our surroundings and loved ones.
What is the real problem and what do we do?
The problem is that we think of people or things as having the potential of giving us permanent happiness. We give them too much weight and this makes us obsess about it thinking we may get happiness. This is what Samsara is. There are three truths which Buddhist guys like me run in our heads the whole time. They are: Impermanence, unhappiness and No self.
Now that I have broken your optimism, what can we really do? There are three things which I practise and which help me get up everyday in the Samsaric world. The first one is meditation itself. Dedicated practice everyday where I observe my thoughts with detachment is the most important and powerful activity of my day and life. Second, is ethical living. Giving our life meaning through an exemplary conduct, loving kindness and deepest respect for everything and everyone around us makes life worth living. The third one is about being true to oneself. Living a life which is not fully ours makes us bitter towards ourselves and others. Hence, behaving in a way which is true and unique to ourselves is painful in the short term as you will end up being judged and rejected at times. However, it’s really rewarding in the long run when you start shining being yourself.
Deep bows and Unconditional love,
Geerish.
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